You Know You’re Getting Old When….

1. You give people wayyy more information than they asked for. Case in point: My real estate agent rang today to inform me about some painting and building maintenance going on and asked if I needed any interior painting done. I proceeded to tell him how the bathroom window doesn’t shut properly, how the tiles are coming up in certain areas and that the kitchen doors never close properly….
2. You get disproportionately upset by trivial things. Case in point: The guy at the sandwich shop does not cut your sandwich in half, and if he did cut it in half you’d be complaining that he didn’t cut it properly, or at the wrong angle, or too much butter, not enough butter, no butter….the list goes on.
3. Ten thirty PM is way too late to be heading out anywhere. Case in point: You have an unusually free Saturday night. You feel like heading out, going to catch some live music perhaps, socializing but all your friends are busy or otherwise unavailable. You run into an acquaintance who mentions she is going to see some band you like and you say, “Great! I’d like to come. Text me when you get there, I’m only around the corner…” The message comes at 10.15pm. You are already in your pj’s, in bed and catching up on Hemlock Grove. There is NO WAY you are getting dressed now! (Unless there’s a fire and you have to evacuate the building, in which case it’s grab your dog and a jumper, and that’s it.)
4. You can’t handle your alcohol anymore. There was a time you could out drink anyone, anytime, anywhere. Well, maybe I’m exaggerating, I never was a big drinker, but there was a time when I could at least handle 5 drinks in an evening without feeling like my head was going to explode and issue forth a geyser of vomit if I so much as moved it an inch too far to the left. Nowadays, two wines and I’m fine but anymore and I’m straight through to hungover!
5. Heels are a thing of the past. You can just about manage wedges for up to 4 hours but that’s it. Stilettos are a distant memory. As are G-strings and super-tight jeans that you can’t breathe in. Life is way too short. (And getting shorter!)
6. You refer to people in their 30s as young. When did thirty-something become young? Remember that show, Thirty-something? You don’t? Well, you probably are thirty-something then!
7. You remember what it was like to not have the internet. And, you start to say things like…before the internet, (BI) we had to actually find a pay phone to call someone and you can’t even manage to reply to a lousy text message!

If you can relate, then yep. You guessed it.  You’re getting old!