So, you have completed detox and you have promised yourself, and others, that you will stay sober.
Recovery is about more than just quitting a particular substance, like alcohol or drugs, or stopping an unwanted behaviour, such as gambling or masturbating to porn. (If it were that easy, there would be no reason for me to be writing this guide!) Recovery is a personal journey, and it is different for everybody. For many, it is essentially a journey into unknown territory, so it is essential to have a plan, or at least a compass to make sure you don’t get lost or keep going around in circles, like the diagram above which shows the stages of change conceptualised by psychologists Prochaska and Di Clemente. The more times you cycle through the different stages, the easier it gets apparently, there-for creating more of an upward spiral, rather than a repetitive cycle.
But how can you turn your cycle of change into an upward spiral instead of a merry-go-round that never ends? Rehabilitation services are lengthy for a reason. It takes time to undo months, or sometimes years of dependency and habitual use of alcohol, drugs or unhealthy behaviours that have developed over time. But, not everyone can take the time to attend an inpatient service, or have obligations to family, pets or work commitments. If you fit into this category, and you have just completed a detox of some sort, then the below are essential for improving your chances of success this time around.
1. Get the basics right. Focus on sleeping, diet, exercise, taking prescribed medication as directed, water, nutrition. Getting as good a night’s sleep as possible is the single most beneficial thing you can do to improve your physical, mental and emotional health. Look up sleep hygiene for some tips on getting a good night’s sleep. Watch what you eat, move away from fast or pre-packaged food and try to fit in some home cooking. Look up recipes on YouTube or ask a friend to help if you can. Drink plenty of water. Take any medication as prescribed. Exercise daily. Give your body the love and care it deserves, even if you don’t feel like doing so at times.
2. Connect. Find a peer support group. AA and other 12 step groups or SMART recovery are both free support groups for anyone reaching out for help. The benefits of finding and connecting with a group to support you have been well documented. Informal friends, online supports and communities are also available nowadays thanks to the internet. Recovery can feel like a lonely place. It helps to know you are not alone.
3. Counselling. See a counsellor or psychologist regularly. Counselling in conjunction with peer support can help you to explore, reflect on and focus on your recovery goals with a supportive, compassionate other. Understanding what led to your addiction can help provide insight, motivation and direction when needed. Simply having someone to talk to, honestly, about your journey can be invaluable.
4. Utilize day programs. Free day programs are available, use them if you are not working or studying full time. Look up out-patient rehabilitation services in your area. Most day programs run 3 times a week, some are daily for 6 -12 weeks on average. Day programs are helpful when you have commitments to children or pets as you get to go home each day.
5. Talk – to your friends, family and community. Addiction is often clouded in shame. Because of this, many people find it difficult to talk about their struggles. Shame thrives on silence. I’m not saying, shout it from the rooftops, however, those closest to you care about you and are in most cases willing to help. Of course, it is important to be discerning when it comes to who is worth sharing with but don’t think you are in this alone. Connection is the opposite of addiction. This is another reason why formal support groups such as AA or SMART Recovery are so valuable.
6. Read, listen, watch. There is a lot of ‘quit lit’ out there, starting with the big book of AA (worth a read). If reading is not your thing, check out podcasts, apps and watch YouTube videos about recovery. Learn from others and educate yourself on addiction, brain science and the latest interventions. You will feel less alone and it will help you to stay motivated to continue with your sobriety.
7. Cleanse. Cleanse your device, your social media feed and your life of all potential triggers or people that remind you of your addiction, as much as possible. It is important that you prioritise your recovery especially in the early days/months. Detox is not just for your body. In many instances, detoxification is a process of systematically removing those things, people, places and habits from your life that no longer serve you. You may have to delete several numbers from your phone. At the very least, delete and block your dealer’s number!
8. Get creative or busy. Write, draw, paint, sculpt, tinker, redecorate, fix, repair, renovate, plant something, play something, collect something. Use that brain and fire up those neurons in a way that stimulates novel thinking. Creative pursuits and hobbies can also help with stress reduction.
9. Learn something. If you are not working full-time, recovery is a great opportunity to re-train or up-skill. If there is something you’ve always wanted to learn to do, now is the time to do it. Learn a new language. Learn how to play an instrument. Take a short course or go back to school/uni. Use that newly created space which you created in a positive way. Make a decision to only add things to your life that are joyful, positive or beneficial to you in some way, which brings me to my last point…
10. Cultivate a mindfulness practice. Whether in the form of a formal meditation practice, or simply moments of ‘dropping in’ to the present moment throughout the day. Learning how to pay attention to the present, mindfully, non-judgementally and on purpose is the essence of mindfulness and will help you immensely with your newfound sobriety. In a sense, mindfulness is also the opposite of addiction in that it is the opposite of what happens when we are intoxicated, drunk or high or in some other way ‘out of our minds’. Learning how to tend to ourselves in the present, to sit with and accept all our thoughts, emotions and sensations without trying to change or avoid them takes practice but is worth the effort. In essence you are learning how to be yourself, to be with your self and to accept yourself as you are, compassionately and non-judgementally. There are many resources, including apps, websites and books on Mindfulness available now, a simple internet search will provide you with a tonne of information.
So that’s it. My top 10 essentials for a successful recovery and relapse prevention plan. Of course, this list is not exhaustive but if you think I have left anything out that should be there please feel free to comment below.