I like to take women out and spend on them. (September, 2010)
This post was written during my internet dating phase. I came across some whack profiles, but this one is still my fave!
”I LIKE TO TAKE WOMEN OUT AND SPEND ON THEM AND MAKE THEM HAPPY AND HAVE FUN. IF YOU ARE LOOKING FOR A RELATIONSHIP, YOU ARE WASTING YOUR TIME BUT IF YOU ARE LOOKING FOR A GOOD TIME THEN GO AHEAD. I HATE TALKING ABOUT MYSELF BUT ALL I KNOW FOR SOME REASON EVERYONE AROUND ME LIKES ME AND LIKE TO HANG OUT WITH ME ”
An actual profile description on one of the now numerous internet dating sites to be found online. I just can’t help but wonder how this guy is faring in the great big virtual pick-up scene which internet dating has become.
And I also am wondering if he is happy with this introduction. I have read this little gem over and over and when I stop laughing I can’t help but marvel at this guy’s inner workings. Let’s disect this paragraph sentence by sentence and see what we get.
He starts on a positive… “I like to take women out and spend on them and make them happy and have fun.” Great, he thinks, this will get them interested! All women like to be taken out and be ‘spent’ on. But then he must think, hang on… don’t want them getting the wrong idea, after all with an opening like that most likely every woman in Sydney is going to be clamouring for my attention. Better qualify that statement…. “If you are looking for a relationship you are wasting your time.” That’ll fix them. Excellent. He thinks, almost done. He then thinks, I better put something in about me being a great guy otherwise they might think I’m a jerk… “All I know for some reason everybody likes me.” A-ha..perfect! See, I’m a great guy, why wouldn’t women want to meet me? All he has to do now is sit back and wait for his inbox to fill up.
I was almost tempted to contact this guy to find out how he was doing on the internet dating scene. Alas, there was no profile pic so I couldn’t see what this dud looked like. And at the end of the day, I didn’t want to waste my time or his.
Fact is, internet dating is here to stay and like it or lump it we are going to have to deal. Deal with jerks like this I guess. However, in this poor guy’s defense I think it is safe to say he just doesn’t know any better. And, maybe I am being mean by holding him up to ridicule, albeit anonymous ridicule.
However with the popularity of internet dating increasing, and more and more bozos… (not sure how to spell bozo! Is it bozzo? Whatever.)Anyway, with more and more men jumping on to the band wagon like this one I have a sinking feeling that it may be time to jump this ship and maybe go back to the ‘old ways’. Yes, random meetings at late night venues, one night stands that somehow manage to go on for years, friends introducing you to other friends, bumping into someone you think you know and then finding out you don’t really know them and striking up a conversation that way, you know, the way people used to meet. By chance.